Ginny's Escape
by Sinner's Angst
Summary: Basically, its Ginny thinking about Harry, and how her life is so screwed up ^^ I kinda forgot the disclaimer but who doesn't know who wrote Harry Potter? Its my first real fic so do be kind and R/R! ^^
1. Default Chapter

Hello everyone! Here is my first piece that I actually bothered to post… it was really meant to be fluff, because I was feeling like writing fluff… but it came out wrong. Oh, so wrong. Perhaps because it was 3 o'clock in the morning? Ah well, while I ponder that, do read this, and when you're done would you be a dear and review?  
  
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The tears fall freely now; I don't even bother to wipe them away. They would simply come back, taunting me. If you could only see me; see what you did to me… but that doesn't matter. Nothing matters now, now that my life is ruined.  
  
Because of you.   
  
You did this to me.  
  
You are the one making these tears.  
  
You said you'd never hurt me.  
  
Liar.  
  
I stare into the sky, magically splashed with stars, hoping the wind blowing through will dry these tears. You always loved the sky; you loved to fly high in the air, where you could be free from everything. Your hair would fly about and your green eyes would sparkle. More tears stream down, I mustn't think of you, its far too painful. But what else can I do, except pray that soon this will all end? Do you see what you're making me do? You make me wait for death to grant me my last wish.  
  
It was innocent at first, in fact, it was always innocent, but I was too proud to say so. It's my one regret. It's my worst nightmare, a nightmare that never ends. A nightmare that awakens me in tears, once I've gotten past the dream.  
  
_"Hey, Gin, you know how many members of the Order are coming to Hogwarts to be… protected?" Harry said a bit nervously while he and Ginny were studying in the common room.__  
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__"Members of the Order of the Phoenix? Oh… yeah." Ginny said this rather sadly, thinking of the Order; it had recruited many members because Voldemort had gained so much power and so many followers.__  
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__"Well…" Harry started, looking up from his book, "as Head Boy, Dumbledore kind of wanted me to escort the youngest and, he said, most valuable."__  
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__"Oh? And who's the lucky lady?"__  
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__Harry hesitated before answering, "Cho Chang."__  
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__Ginny's eyes widened as she was looking at her book thinking of Harry's old crush. "Oh..?" she said, "okay…?" she met his eyes.__  
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__"You don't mind?" Harry asked a bit shocked.__  
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__"No, I trust you Harry…!" she flashed him a charming smile.__  
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__"I'm lucky I found you," Harry tilted her chin and leaned in to kiss her, gently and sweetly._  
  
I always loved it when you kissed me, I felt so protected and safe. I felt complete, like if I died that moment, I wouldn't mind. Nothing could ever ruin our short and precious moments. But we shall never share any more of those moments. Never.  
  
I stand and move to the balcony of this tower, my note clenched tightly in hand. I cannot believe I'm resorting to this… I knew we could never last… many girls were after your heart. Many pretty girls who were far better than me, who deserved you more. So I told myself, when we were no more, I would move on, I would live my life as I used to; before you came into it.  
  
My lip is bleeding now. And I give up. I bit my lip, so a sob could not escape, but its no use. You made an impact on me, and I realize I can never be the same without you, so all that's left to do is escape from you. Hopefully this is right. I know you will move on… you seem to be just fine without me. You've had dates, and every time I see you with another girl another part of me dies. Like the very first time.  
  
_The Great Hall looked beautiful with its decorations for the ball, greeting the members of the Order. The prefects made their way on to the dance floor, with their partners for the first song- Order members, as a slow song began. Everyone who was not a prefect and not a member stood along the outside and watched, simply for this song. The Head Boy, Harry, with his partner, Cho, and the Head Girl, Hermione Granger, with her partner stood in the middle. Ginny watched as Harry danced with his arms around Cho's waist and Cho's arms around Harry's neck. She couldn't help herself as a pang of jealousy went off inside her.__  
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__"It was nice of you to escort me Harry," Cho said.__  
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__"Oh, it was just since I'm Head Boy, Dumbledore thought-"__  
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__Cho pressed a finger against his lips to silence him. Another pang on Ginny's part. "Look Harry, I know in fourth year, I was with someone… so I had to turn you down. But really, I do think you are quite nice… so I was wondering if you wanted to give it a shot…"__  
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__"Listen, Cho, its not fourth year anymore, I'm with-" he couldn't finish what he wanted to say, he found Cho's lips pressed against his.__  
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__This wasn't a pang. __  
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__This was an explosion.__  
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__Ginny ran out of the Great Hall, tears streaming down her face onto her elegant white dress robe. _   
  
Of course I knew it would be a girl like her. A girl as pretty as her, compared to me, a homely little redhead with freckles showering my face. You always told me you thought they were cute, and that my hair was like a beautiful fire burning. A fire to match my burning tempers. But compared to your new girlfriend, I'm nothing. Her, with her lovely blonde hair, her rosy complexion, and skinny waist. She's witty smart and funny. You deserve her. She's better than I could ever be.  
  
I look down at myself. I've dressed up for this day. I'm wearing my best dress robe and even borrowed some make-up. I never would do such a thing for any other day. Just this one. Hopefully it will be remembered. Maybe it shall be forgotten. I'll never know. Because after today I shall be no more. I've chosen the night of the full moon. Jupiter is just visible and many other stars seem un-naturally bright. Trelawney said something about a death didn't she? I never paid her much heed. Perhaps, after today, more people will. After I fulfill her prophecy.   
  
_Ginny sat on a couch in the Gryffindor common room staring into the fire, waiting for something. Waiting for someone. Waiting for Harry. The portrait hole swung open but she did not avert her gaze. Harsh breathing entered her ears and she looked up, up to meet a pair of green eyes. She remembered once more what had happened and allowed a silent tear to trace her cheek. __  
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__"Harry," she breathed.__  
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__"Listen Ginny… we need to talk." he gasped, trying to catch his breath. He had run to reach up with Ginny.__  
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__"Yes, you're right. I just wanted to make this official." More tears. "We're over."__  
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__"What…? No, Ginny, give me a moment to explain…!"__  
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__"Harry, I knew this was too good to be true when it started. I hope you're happy. You got what you wanted didn't you?"__  
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__"Ginny! It was Cho!-" Ginny moved to the staircase and Harry grabbed hold of her wrist, not letting her get away.__  
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__"Yes, Harry, I hope she makes you happy. She's what you wanted all along isn't she?" Ginny said rather coldly.__  
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__"No, Ginny, I want you…"__  
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__"Harry… its over…" More tears escaped her as she yanked free of Harry's grip and ran up to her dorm room._  
  
That was the worst day of my life. I should've listened to you. I should've listened to anyone who was arguing for you. I was just too stubborn to believe them. Damn my pride. I still can't figure out why I wouldn't hear you out. Lord knows I wanted to. I wanted to more than anything. But I didn't.  
  
I've been cursed with a miserable life haven't I? It all began in second year. When I had to find that stupid diary. I made such an impact. It was terribly hard to get my friends to believe I didn't know about that diary. For the longest time they thought I wanted you dead. Quite the contrary. I only had Hermione and Elizabeth on my side after that. I missed Rose and Emily. I understand of course. I would probably act the same way if my room mate had gotten that bloody book.  
  
_A week later Ginny was in her room, thinking of what had happened seven days earlier, sobbing, as if there was nothing else in the world that would please her. Hermione came into her room trying to convince her, once again, that it was not Harry's fault.__  
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__"Ginny, you have to talk to him… he's terrible without you…!"__  
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__For a moment, taking in what she said, she stopped crying *Terrible?* she thought. But then she convinced herself that she was just saying that and tears leaked from her eyes again. __  
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__"No," Ginny said flatly.__  
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__"But Ginny…"__  
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__"NO!" she yelled, she'd had enough of this.__  
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__"Ginny! Look! I'm just trying to help you! I don't want you moping around all day, you are both terrible without each other! …and I know… no matter what Harry may do in these weeks to come, no matter how many dates he goes on, he'll just be doing it to get his mind off you. He loves you, Gin, you have to talk to him."__  
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__"I will not talk to him…" she said barely above a whisper. "If he loves me so much why did he…" Ginny couldn't make the words come. She knew what Hermione was saying was right. She knew she was in the wrong. She knew that Harry hadn't been the one to start the kiss, but she couldn't admit it. Because of her pride._  
  
She told me you loved me. This wasn't new to me, we would always tell each other the three words when we were alone and I thought you were just saying it because of the crush. The crush that made you ask me out. The crush that made me so happy words would fail to explain.  
  
But it wasn't just a crush for me.  
  
And I hope the same goes for you.  
  
You were my first love, my only love, and I can never forget you. No matter what happens to me. I almost regret doing this. I think of all the times you held me close and whispered to me that everything was okay. I believed you of course. And I think of all the times you would kiss me and we would be happy. If only for that moment. But that's over. I did, after all, say almost.  
  
It's still here, and it's still early. Good, I still have time to bask in the happiness that is our memories, the good ones of course. When I first saw you. When we had our first real talk. When we went to our first dance together. When we shared our first kiss.  
  
_Hogwarts grounds was covered in snow on this particular Christmas, and the moon shone down on it beautifully. The stars were dancing in the sky, smiling at the world down below them. Harry and Ginny walked along the side of the lake, silent and hands joined. Harry led Ginny to a bench and muttered a warming spell for them both.__  
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__"Harry, why are we here…?" Ginny asked.__  
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__"I just thought it would be nice…" he said, sounding distracted.__  
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__Ginny raised an eyebrow at him. *Why would he bring me out here away from everyone? Just to…talk? Talk about wh-* Ginny gasped thinking of a reason he might want to talk to her, and Harry's head snapped up to look at her. He had been looking at his hands and was acting a bit nervous.__  
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__"What?" he asked concerned.__  
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__"Er… Harry, be honest… why are we out here? If you want to tell me something, tell me now so we can get on with our lives."__  
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__"What?" Harry asked surprised, "I really just thought it would be nice."__  
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__"Oh, so… you aren't breaking up with me?" she asked sounding relieved and feeling a bit stupid.__  
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__"Why would I want to do that?" he smiled mischievously and started leaning in to her. She was caught off guard when his lips met hers, but she gave in to him took in the immediate bliss she felt that moment. When he broke apart he whispered into her ear, "Happy Christmas Ginny."_  
  
I would give anything to go back to that time. From there on, I would change so many things. I could be in the common room right now, in your arms, instead of up here, considering to do the unthinkable. No, about to do the unthinkable. My knees give out at the thought of it, I must get up, I want to do this… I take the note in my hand and make sure I've said everything I want to.  
  
I'm ready.  
  
I just need to say goodbye now…  
  
I'll miss all of you.  
  
_After getting back from her moment with Harry, Ginny made her way to her dorm room. When she opened the door, she found Elizabeth sitting with her legs crossed, looking anxious.__  
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__"Well?!" she asked quickly.__  
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__"Well what?" Ginny said looking innocently into the brunette's blue eyes.__  
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__"'Well what'?! 'WELL WHAT'?!? VIRGINIA WEASLEY I WANT DETAILS! NOW!"__  
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__Ginny laughed and made her way to her bed. "Look Lizzie, I'm kind of tired, I'll see you tomorrow morning. G'night."__  
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__Elizabeth sat there, gaping at her friend. She then got out of her bed and made her way to Ginny's. She threw back the scarlet hangings to Ginny's bed and turned her friend around.__  
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__"Wha-at?" Ginny asked.__  
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__"Ginny, you are telling me what happened."__  
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__"Alright… he wished me a happy Christmas," then, as an after thought she added, "and he kissed me." She turned back around as if it was nothing.__  
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__Elizabeth still had her mouth open when Ginny turned back. "And I loved it!" she squealed. She began telling her how terribly romantic it was until Elizabeth almost regretted asking her about it. __  
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__"He deserves better," Rose said suddenly, sitting up in her bed.__  
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__"Shut up Rose," Elizabeth said bitterly.__  
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__"I'm only saying the truth, I mean, she tried to kill him in first year."__  
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__"I'll second that thought," Emily broke in not bothering to get up.__  
__"She didn't know about the book, now go back to sleep," Elizabeth hissed. "Gin, forget them, they don't know what they're talking about." Ginny nodded, but she could feel hot tears coming to her eyes.__  
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Thank you Lizzie, and thank you Hermione. I don't know if you were only nice to me because of Ron, but I like to think otherwise. I like to think you were a friend. Because you liked me, not my brother.  
  
I move to the sword that grandpa left in my possession for some reason. It was a gift from a muggle, who knows why he would leave it to me. Perhaps he left it for just this reason. A dry laugh escapes my lips. Sure, Ginny, sure. The blade gleams in the moonlight and the gold handle, encrusted with jewels, feels rough in my hand. This is perhaps the most valuable thing we own, I think sourly. I gasp as I see your face in the blade. Your head is coming closer, you're running to me. Why would you run to me? Why would you worry about me? My note is still clenched in my free hand.   
  
"Ginny- you cannot- do this- stop…" you say as you gasp for breath.  
  
"Why Harry? Why can't I?" I say this as if its some joke, a joke that doesn't really matter. But then, does it really?  
  
Your eyes go wide with concern, "What do you mean Ginny? You have a life to live. You have friends who love you…!"  
  
"But I don't have you." I raise the sword to my abdomen.   
  
"But, Ginny, you can have me! I- I love you."  
  
"Goodbye Harry." Again my pride overcomes me and I cannot give this up, I cannot. I told myself there was no turning back, and there isn't. This is my only way to be free from you. "I love you too." The metal-like taste of blood enters my mouth and I know I've done it.  
  
"GINNY!!" I can faintly hear you, as you cry to me, you cry desperately, hoping I may be alive. But I'm not.  
  
Harry moved to the parchment placed in Ginny's hand. He carefully removed it from her hand and read:  
  
_"Dearest Harry,__  
__ By the time you are reading this, I shall finally be at peace. I want you to tell the others that I love them and I hope they can move on, and live their lives as if I had never come in to them. Please return this sword to my parents and the locket I am wearing I wish for you to keep. And now I must explain a few things to you. I wish you will keep it secret. Now, I want you to know that I believe you when you told me that it wasn't you. I could never question your word. The night of the ball I was filled hate and when you came back my pride got the better of me, despite what my heart wanted. In my heart I wanted to lean into your shoulder and have you stroke my arm reassuringly. But I couldn't, I couldn't give in. Of course, it was because I knew at one point you would leave me, because I wasn't good enough for you. So I decided, I would just save myself the pain that was to come later. But I wanted you back as soon as I said goodbye. I slowly died, but I put on a mask and pretended I was okay. But Elizabeth could see through me. She set me up with multiple dates and everyone went down in fire. All the boys knew I still was after you and left me after the first date. I just wanted to tell you. And now that I have, goodbye.__  
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__I always did love you, and I will never stop, no matter what.__  
__  
__Ginny__"_  
  
  
Hot tears filled Harry's eyes as he lifted Ginny in his arms. He carefully took the sword in his hand and made his way to Madam Pomfrey, the tears falling freely now.  
  
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::Giggling madly:: wasn't that lovely? Hopefully my beta readers caught my mistakes… well, here's to them! My lovely friends Houdini and Weenie ((its strictly alphabetical ween…)) Well, I do believe there is a nice purple button down there for you to click? Go on, figure out what it does and please don't flame, this is my first real fic…  
  
Thanks!  
  
~*Sinners Angst*~ 


	2. Got a little confused? look at this...

Okay, I just felt like making this chapter to answer two questions that came up...  
  
Some one asked...  
  
"I would imagine that with a name like Cho Chang, she'd be oriental, so the description of her as a blonde threw me slightly."  
  
meehee, allow me to clear that up [feeling professional] At one point or another Ginny said:  
  
_ "But compared to your __**new**__ girlfriend, I'm nothing. Her, with her lovely blonde hair, her rosy complexion, and skinny waist."__  
_ As in, he didn't get with Cho, and he got with another girl who has blonde hair. Its no one in particular... I just gave her blonde hair for the heck of it. ^___^  
  
and the other fingy was...  
  
"BUT.. Cho Chang couldn't be at Hogswart because if Harry was Head Boy that would mean that He would be in 7th year..And Cho was a year ahead..Get my drift.."  
  
The whole reason Cho was there was because she was in the Order... apparently my BETA reader missed that too... ((Hi leah ^^))   
  
Okee doke... i just wanted to clear that up... if more questions pop up i'll keep updating this chapter...  
  
See yas!  
  
~*Sinner's Angst*~  



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